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Dark but Lovely: How a Lover of Jesus Repents and Breaks Free of Shame
September 18, 2016      |     By: Sam McVay, Jr.      |      Category: Sermons

Sam speaks about dealing with sin, and shows that freedom from sin is found in the radical acceptance of the Father's love.

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Song of Songs 1:1 Solomon’s Song of Songs.


Sincere followers, and lovers, of Jesus have moments of struggle.

No Sloppy grace that enables sin.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

for your love is more delightful than wine.

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

your name is like perfume poured out.

No wonder the young women love you!

Take me away with you—let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers.

We rejoice and delight in you[b];

we will praise your love more than wine.


How right they are to adore you!

Dark am I, yet lovely,

daughters of Jerusalem,

dark like the tents of Kedar,

like the tent curtains of Solomon.

But at the very same time that they struggle with darkness,- they are truly lovely

because they are radically loved!

To stay healthy, we must hate sin and grow in receiving our inheritance of power over


There is a difference between a manipulation rebel and a genuine disciple tag struggles

at times.

The power of the enemies accusations in our lives comes not from failures but rather

dark shame.

We must never say it is ok to sin. And at the same time know that lovers of Jesus

struggle with sin.

At your core you must know that Jesus does not love you less when you struggle.

I never stop loving my kids when they fail me- and I am a weak flawed man.
How much more does he love us through our struggle- not after we are done struggling. A growing disciple grows in the dynamic of knowing both- I am dark yet lovely.
A great example of this dynamic is found in the life of King David.
He is a passionate worshipper and warrior for the Lord.
But the Lover has struggles.

Freedom is not found in our feeling guilty but in radically receiving His love when we

don't fell love-able.

One of the most devastating was the sin involving Bathsheba -

1 Samuel 11:1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out

with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and

besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.

2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.

From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David

sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of

Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She

came to him....

Then Nathan the Prophet nails him with prophetic insight into his sin.

Sons respond to failure different than slaves do.

How this presence based man repents is different than how a shame based man would

do it.

Psalm 51: 1 Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

(David appeals FIRST with a focus upon the great love and compassion of his God not

with a focus upon his sin.)

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight;

(David is grieved most by his trespass against his God not man)
so you are right in your verdict

and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
(David looks for the Lord to clean him up not his own religious efforts )
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins

and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

(David cries out for inward transformation by grace instead of outward behavioral

change by works)

11 Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.

(David values most the Presence of the Lord)

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation

13 and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

(David wants not only forgiveness and relief but he wants the joy of the Lord back)

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

so that sinners will turn back to you.


(David extends his failure and recovery to an opportunity for kingdom advancing

ministry to others. He wants not only redemption for himself but also a ministry of

redempiton from the experience of his failure)

14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15 Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.

(David wants Spirit empowered praise restored in his life. Lips not used for lamenting

the past but rather for exalting his God)

16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

(David now sees his brokenness as a literal worship offering unto the Lord)

18 May it please you to prosper Zion,

19 to build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,

in burnt offerings offered whole;

then bulls will be offered on your altar. 

Related Resources

Primers : Sermon Primer
Testimonies : Morgan Moore's Testimony of the Father's Love
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